There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
