Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
