You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
