my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
