miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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