Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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