u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
