ugly people sure do ruin things
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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