11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
