Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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