i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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