just come out here and I will go home with you...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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