Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
