you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
