K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize