What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
