how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
