I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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