Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
