im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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