I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
