were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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