Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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