You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This house was built for laser tag.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize