the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
