You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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