So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize