Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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