i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
