You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
