sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
