Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
