in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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