I want to have your abortion
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
