Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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