How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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