Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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