my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there was a trapeze. enough said
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize
