hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
