tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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