a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
