my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
