hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This baby is an asshole
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize