Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
