I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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