just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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