That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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