Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
