You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
