Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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