My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
