i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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