were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
