i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
